Tag Archives: Silver Lining

Some thoughts about my new job before I go to sleep

It’s refreshing to:

* have a boss whom you can actually talk to and share some common interests—like Sherlock, Good Omens and the genius that are the British, in general

* be told that they couldn’t take you in the position you applied for, and instead had a spot created for you, just because they saw your potential and thought, “Hey, we have to have this girl on our team,”

* have a boss who makes you feel trusted, listens and accepts your ideas, and even goes on a limb to lend you some (expensive!) books so you can learn more stuff about a particular section in the magazine (and then tells you that in the future maybe you can take charge of that section, too)

* have a boss who finds a balance seeing the good and the bad—she’s not afraid to critique you (but does so in a helpful manner that really shows she genuinely wants you to improve) but also gives you praises when she thinks you’ve done a mighty fine job

* be on a team that are on good terms with one another. No tension, can have fun, but still focused on the work.

I’ve only been here a month and a half; I’m so happy, but somewhere along the back of my head, pessimist!Kitty is screaming, “How long will this last?!” But now it’s just a relief to have a job that actually teaches you and gives you a chance to seize opportunities (because at some point they think, ‘you can.’) I’m crossing my fingers that hopefully, I’ll get to keep this job in the long run. God knows I really want to.

 

xx

Kitty

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Why the universe kind of despises me.

So! It looks like I haven’t been keeping my new year’s resolution, as I haven’t updated my blog for awhile now. Forgive me, a lot has happened and I didn’t even share them with you. But since I am sleepy and I have to make it fast, here are the things you need (or don’t need, depending on your interest in my life) to know, in bullets:

  • I was getting fed up with my current work, mostly because it was hard to associate with the one in charge (READ: Total bitch)
  • I went to Hong Kong for the second time to attend the Toys and Games Fair. I enjoyed it this time around because I had my sister to accompany me. We actually got along (mostly because we had no choice as there weren’t other people who’ll look out for us) and because she’s brave and makapal ang fez, I was actually able to kindov tour HK
  • I suffered from dengue and was hospitalized. Good thing it wasn’t fatal. Nor did I get blood transfusion. But I was really scared. Doctors and nurses telling you your platelet count was too low will definitely make you paranoid. I actually thought I was going to die, but I guess I’m too evil.
  • I left my old job! Haha!

Now onto the more exciting details. Like I said, I finally quit my old job after almost 6months of putting up with a lot of bullcrap. I was supposed to resign in person, but with the hospitalization and everything, I didn’t want to have to go back and be pretentious to the bitch in charge. So I used my illness as an excuse (how evil, muhahaha!) and finally I was free!

Of course, I wouldn’t resign without a backup plan, so for sure I already had a new job waiting for me. I now work as a writer for a PR firm, starting last January 31.

Before I talk about the new job, though, I just need to get something off my chest. It’s actually the reason why I wanted to write this blog, because I was sad for a couple of days because of it.

Why is it that when you get an okay job, better jobs suddenly pour in? A day after I signed my contract with the firm, I suddenly got a call from an awesome fashion magazine. I emailed them a couple of months ago about an opening for the Editorial Assistant post and I never heard from them after. Imagine my shock when the lady on the other end of the line asked me if I already had a job, because the editor in chief wanted me to start working for them immediately. Of course I had to be honest and decline. I mean, I couldn’t leave my current job because 1) I just started. 2) my friend knows the boss and I would be a cause of shame if I suddenly disappear without any word 3) I owe it to my friend who recommended me the job in the first place. So there. It was kind of disappointing because it would’ve been, as Raydon put it, my “gateway into the magazine industry.” If you didn’t know already, working for a magazine and being a successful features writer (and hopefully editor) is my goal in life.

But it doesn’t stop there. The next day, I open my email and a job posting for my DREAM MAGAZINE appeared. They were looking for an editorial assistant, as well. I wanted to kill myself. MY DREAM MAGAZINE, Gadgets Magazine, (I shall name it because I am shameless like that) and I couldn’t apply.

And then just a while ago, another techie magazine called me in for a final interview. I wanted to laugh because they were contacting me six months after my first interview. What the heck. Good thing I didn’t like that magazine too much or I would really have hanged myself. That’s three strikes. I’m out.

Anyway, back to the new job. I just decided to focus on my new career, seeing as I’ve already made my choice. The way I look at it, it’s a new challenge, a new avenue for growth. PR writing is something I always thought that I would never do, but life has a funny way of turning things around, eh?

In all honesty, I can’t really say that my job is great, but so far, things are looking up. I’ve been learning a lot of things even though it’s only been a week, and I’m seeing a lot of opportunities for me to grow as a writer. Sure, there’s a lot of adjustment, as it’s not really like writing for a magazine, but the work is lighter than what I’m used to, although the pressure is still there. Also, I feel as if I would be very busy, because there are a lot of things to do to please the clients.

I’m sleepy, so I’ll just put the nice things about my new job in bullets.

  • It’s nearer to my place and the apartment-turned-office is very homey. Plus, there’s a microwave so I can finally re-heat my baon. Also, water is free.
  • I’m not restricted to semi-formal wear during Mondays-Thursdays. I can wear jeans if I’m just staying in the office!
  • The clients are very interesting, and while they’re asking for a lot in terms of publicity, I feel as if I can take the challenge head on.
  • I’ll be interviewing Angel Locsin later tonight! LOL

Lastly, my bosses are being very nice to me so far. Plus, they’re very smart, business-oriented and they definitely know what they’re doing. It’s such a refreshing thing. It’s exactly what I need, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be learning a lot from them.

The only downside is, I’m the only PR writer so if I screw up, there’s no one else to blame. Also, I don’t really jibe with the people in the office. During lunch time, I eat with them, but I have nothing to contribute in their conversations. It’s awkward and so unlike me. I hate not being able to talk with people. Hopefully, though, I’ll warm up to them soon.

So, there. I’m thinking positively about my new job. So far, so good. I hope things steadily get better. Cross your fingers for me, will you?

P.S.

So sorry if I sound incoherent. I’m really sleepy. 😐

Venting.

I think my biggest flaw is that I’m too emotional. Most of the time I can contain it and just laugh it off or act indifferent, but there are times when I cave in and just let it burst.

A few days ago my Mom and I got into a huge argument. She had been pestering me to get a job, and normally I would have just ignored her, because I knew that I was doing my best to find one, but then she said a few words that really pissed me off. “Proud na proud ka sa Pilipinas mo diba?” That hit a chord, it really did. I normally don’t talk back because this had been a long standing issue between us, but with those eight words she definitely crossed a line.

You see, my mom lives in the United States. After she and my dad got separated, she lived a rough life in Manila. She resigned from work because of personal issues and was unable to find another job after that. She was short of pathetic – depressed and helpless, she had a short temper and would often turn to us to vent out her anger. I remember my sister’s face being shoved into a plate of food while my hair was being pulled and my body being kicked endlessly. No matter how much she hurt us, though, she was pleasant enough when she was sane, and out of pity I would just accept every stunt she pulled and tried to understand her. Because she literally had no money to spend for herself I would give her part of my allowance so she could commute to Makati and apply for work, and there was even a time where I sold pastillas de leche to my classmates so she would have some money. She was on her way to being a total wreck but her determination to start over won in the end. She managed to pool some money (I don’t think I have the right to share the means she resorted to, but anyway) and flew to the United States where she remarried and found great and high paying jobs.

But while my Mom was intelligent and stubborn, she was also overflowing with pride. Finally being able to live the life she dreamed my mother started belittling the country she was raised in, and she wanted us to go there so we can leave this supposedly wretched country and be rich in another continent. And while she showered us with gifts, it always came with a little backlash – telling us with every designer bag, every Victoria Secret underwear that we would not be able to afford luxury in the Philippines because America was the only answer to all our woes. I think this was the reason why I started being detached and growing sick of the thought of living in the United States. Granted, our country was a little shitty, but I’d always thought that with enough perseverance you could live a pretty decent life here. I know it sounds unrealistic and cheesy, but I’d rather live here, a happy lower middle-class citizen, than live in the States with my life revolving around working my ass off and never being satisfied with the amount of money I’m making, no matter how high it is.

So you could imagine my anger when my mother said those eight words to me. When I answered that I’d rather be poor in the Philippines than live in America as a proud and conceited individual, my mom said I was rude and started spewing endless insults. “Anak lang kita. Kung di kita pinag-aral wala kang mararating.” I was positively shaking with anger and tears were flowing down my eyes in frustration. Four years of sending me to college and she was already so full of herself? What about my father who sent me through nursery, grade school and high school? I didn’t hear him complaining. Last I heard, it was the responsibility of the parents to send their children to school. I really didn’t understand why she had to say those harsh words and make it seem like it was my obligation to follow her every whim just because she sent me to college.

Yeah, yeah, I understand, she only wants the best for me. She lived a hard life in the Philippines and got it all back in America so she wants me to do the same. But you know what? From the time I was ten, I was used to fighting for myself, to thinking for myself, and right now I’m pretty hell bent on staying in this country. Sure I have dreams, and that includes maybe staying in a foreign country someday, but I sure won’t have anyone decide for me. After all, that’s how they raised me to be, right? And I won’t especially go to New York to be with a crazy mother.

~

Whew. That was a lengthy entry. Anyway, again, on the emotional thing; with all the crazy shit my mom pulled I was now slowly descending into a dark depression. I felt useless and pathetic and stupid and I wondered if I was ever going to make something of myself. This climaxed in a night of crying while singing Hanson songs. Yeah, I think I was going insane a bit. But a lot of friends calmed me down and offered words of wisdom and comfort. Thanks Emil, Den, Kwyn 🙂

Then wonder of all wonders, the next day as I was meeting with my twin and my other good friend, I got a text message asking if I was still open to becoming an Editorial Assistant for their company. And although the pay is really low, I’m ECSTATIC. Finally, I’ve been given a chance! I’m finally part of the workforce!

I’m really really scared that I might jinx it, though, so this is the last time I’m going to talk about it. But once I start after two weeks, I’ll definitely make another mention. HOPEFULLY I GET TO START AND NOT MESS IT UP. Haha.